Cats on the cradle

I have always loved Harry Chapin's Cats on the Cradle song. It is a very touching song and takes me down memory lane to the happy times I had with my dad. It tells you to act on your noble sentiments - it is not sufficient to have them.

Another song echoing parallel sentiments is "Always on my mind". This also tells (of course in a totally different context) that the intention is there though the implementation may be lacking.

It has been fairly rough for me to follow these sentiments in real life. Many times I wished I could do something but wont get to do it either because of upbringing, environment or plain old inertia. But I try to get around to doing it some time somehow. Like this blog for instance, it has been there in my mind to do it for a long time but could never sit down in a placid enough state to pen down what I feel. Not that there is someone sitting on the other side eagerly awaiting for the next drop of nectar to fall so they can lap it up. But it feels good to get it off the chest.

It is especially true with my dad. I wanted to do so many things with him, get him to come and stay with me and involve him in multiple ways with my day to day life rather than having this weekly conversation on the phone (we never lived in the same city for the past 19 years) . I did spend time with him but not to the extent that I wanted. With his passing, I had this intense sadness. But somehow, I feel much closer to him. Everytime I see his picture, I know he is around in the room or in the vicinity. And it is not spooky either - just a plain sense of closeness.

So there it is in black and white - I love you dad. Feels good just saying it.